Thursday, December 16, 2010

Wish List.

The following is my list of Christmas Wishes for the up coming year:

For my town, I wish a snowy, safe Christmas. I'll think of you while I'm melting on a Mexican beach, keen to come back home for the kids skiing lessons.

For my puppy, I wish you a good 12 days at the kennel with a group of friendly non-barky dogs.

For Facebook, I wish you would disappear. And I'd like everyone to stop using friend as a verb, okay?

For Prince William and his betrothed Kate, I wish you a wonderful engagement and a magical wedding. But I'm feeling a bit sad, because there are no longer any Woolworth's stores in Canada. Where am I going to buy my Royal Wedding commemorative teacup and saucer? Or a tea towel with Will and Kate's smiling faces?

[[UPDATED MARCH 22, 2011 -- please refer to this post for information about Will & Kate tea towels]]

For Colin Firth, I wish for you to win an Academy Award for The King's Speech. It looks wonderful.

(I want every single one of Helena Bonham Carter's hats. 
What can I say? I love hat porn.)

For Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, I wish that you would resign from politics and pursue your career as a wedding singer. Alternately, I wish you would simply stop performing Beatles songs at functions and fundraisers. People only clap out of politeness.

For little boys everywhere, I wish a Christmas filled with Playmobil toys, super-complicated Lego sets, and Star Wars action figures. Afterall, why should I be the only mother to suffer?

For Emily Procter, I wish to undo whatever the hell you've done to your face:

(Is this really Emily Procter? Because I remember when 
Emily Procter looked like this:

Is this what comes of working with David Caruso on CSI Miami?)

For Joss Whedon, I wish that you'd produce a movie or television series that justifies the devotion of your fans. It's been 10 years since Buffy, and except for 60 minutes of campy fun (Dr Horrible's Singalong Blog) you haven't produced anything truly spectacular.

For Sweden, I wish you had rape laws that weren't so vaguely written that they fail to protect your citizens and make a mockery of justice and gender equality.

For Julian Assange, I wish you weren't such a man-whore. Your personal proclivities make it all too easy to dismiss your professional objectives.

For everyone flying this holiday season, I wish for good weather and  no delays and no mishaps.

For all those reading my little blog, I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year surrounded by your loved ones. Take care. I'll be gone for a few weeks.