Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Do You Admire My Fecundity?

ATTENTION MEN: please do not read this post.

I'm not trying to be sexist. It's just that this is a post that falls into the Too Much Information category. I really don't think that men (especially men who I know in real life and who I might one day wish to make eye contact with) will appreciate today's topic or the personal details I mention.

Alas, if you are of the male-persuasion and are wondering if you should read this post, I suggest you watch the following video to ascertain whether or not you will find the content  enjoyable, educational, and/or mildly disturbing:

The post shall now commence:

• • •

Back in July I went for a pap smear.

It's advisable to go for a pap smear 10 to 20 days after the start of your most recent menstrual cycle. This proved kind of difficult for me, because my period is a kind of flakey. It hates schedules. It likes to be impetuous and spontaneous. It's brash and sassy. Yes, my period is the very embodiment of the stock character of a wacky, red-headed female on a sitcom.

In anticipation of my appointment I wrote down the dates and times of my cycles back to the previous December. I put the list in my organizer and, for some reason, kept noting when my cycle started.

And here's where the TMI-part comes along...

In November, I took a close look at that list of dates. I was trying to guess when I'd be getting my next gift from the Menses Goddess. I was really hoping that it would not coincide with our vacation to Mexico. Firstly because I was planning to spend a lot of time in the pool. Secondly I kept thinking, "What if our plane is forced to land in the United States for some reason and I have to go through those creepy scanners. Is someone going to see my Diva Cup...up there?"

While I was looking at the list of dates I noticed a weird trend. While the dates of my Lady Moon Cycle fluctuate there is also a seasonal shift. Last December-ish (2009) I had a 60 day cycle. In January (2010) my cycle went back to 33 days. By July (2010) it was down to 28 days. Then it slowly began to creep along in length. In October it was 38 days. Then there was a 50 day wait until it reappeared in December (2010). Oh Period, you sure do keep me on my toes.

So here's the question: is there a correlation between length of a human female's menstrual cycle and seasonal changes? In particular, is cycle length related to the amount of sunshine that we receive up here in the northern climes?

I'm not actually expecting any of my regular readers to know the answer to this. I haven't had any luck entering this query into search engines. I'm hoping that someone who knows the answer will make their way here. To me. And to my lady garden. Down there.

And now since it's just us ladies, I'm going to post some photos of hot Star Trek men:

What can I say? I might be a little bit sexist. Down there.


  1. Are you a thin woman? Do your nutritional habits change in the winter? Have you ever had your vitamin D levels checked?

    I can't seem to pull any studies relating vitamin D levels & otherwise normal menstrual cycles out of my memory banks, but I know that we often give vitamin D supplements to women with PCOS & they find that their cycles become more regular. People also take vitamin D to aid in fertility.

    Jumping to conclusions, I would say that it is POSSIBLE that vitamin D levels, which may be low for you in low-light seasons, could cause your cycles to be a lil wonky. Ignoring possible other causes such as the stress of the snow, or Christmas, or seasonal depression, or whatever.

    Mostly, I don't imagine that this is anything to worry about, if it's normal for you, it's normal for you. It's very interesting though, did you mention it to your MD?

    Did you know I focused on women's health as a nurse? That "Talk to your MD" should have been a tip off ;)

  2. Wow, I had no idea there were hot Star Trek men! Maybe I should start watching...

  3. Stop, stop -- you had me at equating your period with the wacky red-headed sitcom star.

    Dunno -- mine seems to invariably show up when my husband's out of the country, I'm sick as a dog and Angus has a project on Uranium due the next day. Or, you know, the Aztecs or how the pioneers milled grain. The very sight of bristol board makes me feel crampy.

  4. no idea. Sorry i am not more help, but i do love looking at those lovely men!

  5. My menses are of the common, regular variety. If they were a sitcom character they would either be the dependable friend a la Willow on Buffy or they'd be kinda like the chubby kid who is brought in for comic relief a la Theodore on Alvin and the Chipmunks or that chubby kid on The Goonies. Wait, maybe that last example is more like my pre-menstrual cravings.

    Now if you were to ask about psycho age-related changes to one's menses such as a complete change from the notion of "flow" to an uncomfortable clotted tearing away of the entire uterus in a way that necessitates frequent sprints to the bathroom for a 12 hour period of potential doom and humiliation, then, hey, I'm your gal. That's it! With age, my period has become Willow as evil, power-hungry, red-headed witch. I'd like to request a new stock character for down there please.

  6. I am not much help, but the Vit D theory sounds plausible. I am the WORST problems as you know...says the gal waiting for her GYN referral appointment. It is like a crime scene for me, too much of everything pouring out.

    There now you are not the only one over-sharing.

  7. At one point I was having my period once every two to three months. That was fun.

    I don't know about vitamin D, etc., but lately my premenstrual week has been coinciding with the full moon, making me a horrible bitch.

  8. 60 days? Oh I can only imagine. I'm a 26 dayer myself with a FULL week of I'm gonna kill somebody PMS. I hope you get your answers.

  9. First of all, thank you for the photos. I needed a little eye candy today.

    Secondly, I think you have a start for your thesis, if you do not write one about mites and worms.

  10. I'm enjoying the eye candy. :)

    I myself have not experienced a similar trend. But I have been on some form of hormonal birth control or other for pretty much my whole adult life outside of pregnancy, so who KNOWS what that does to me.

  11. could not tell you. my period went the way of my uterus. thankfully.

    and speaking of thankful? tonight i'm thankful for those pictures!

  12. Sue, I'm close to where you are at. Not quite as severe as you describe, but close.


    Unfortunately, I think it's normal for *cough* women of a certain age. It makes me look forward to the time AFTER menopause.

  13. Thanks for all the comments. I have learned two important things:
    1. I should investigate Vitamin D, and
    2. Horseback riding while wearing white pants is not a hobby I should take up in my early 40s. Good to know.