Saturday, February 5, 2011

Cupid Is As Cupid Does.

I have a theory that the importance people place on Valentine's Day is inversely proportional to the stability of their romantic relationship.

That is to say that now that I'm happily married I don't care about Valentine's Day nearly as much as I did back when I was single. And desperate. I'm sure that I am not the only woman who in her late teens or early twenties stuck it out in a doomed relationship just so they didn't have to go through the shame of being alone on Valentine's Day.  Am I?

I can only clearly remember three Valentine's Days.

Last year when I gave my husband a Starbucks coffee mug. Mr. Wrath gave me a Starbucks compilation cd of love songs. This is what happens when you spend February 13 hanging out at airports.

I also remember my first Valentine's Day with Mr. Wrath. We instituted a rule to spend less than $15. I bought him a Stuart McLean book and a finger puppet of a bird. I can't remember what he got me. Neither can he. What I do remember is how a coworker reacted to this meager gift exchange. Her plans were decidedly more grand: dinner out at a fancy restaurant with her boyfriend, a night at a five star hotel. He was going to give her jewellery. I had a pretty good idea what she was going to give him.

The third Valentine's Day was the aforementioned staying-together-just-so-I'm-not-alone year when I was 21. I went for dinner with the douche man-child person I was dating. I had a steak and a beer. He had white wine and a salad. Those food orders speak volumes, yes? Mine says: I'm not even going to try and impress you with my daintiness. His says: I'm a self-important douche.  When the evening was over, I felt relief that I'd made it through the triad of holidays that all single women dread. I dumped the douche a few weeks later.

As for this year, Mr. Wrath and I placed an order for more David's Tea. I'm most excited to sample their variety of Lapsang Souchong. It's the tea Hercule Poirot drinks!

So what are your plans for this Valentine's Day? Do you go all out? Do you just ignore the day?


  1. I'd go out if I had anyone to go out with. As I don't, it will just be another Monday 'round these parts. Not my favorite thing, but it doesn't bother me.

  2. We haven't really ever gone too crazy on Valentine's. That being said, we acknowledge that we are indeed sweethearts. Usually with a small gift, maybe a card. The kids score token gifts also. We don't get a sitter, we don't go out. It's more of a family love-fest. But low key, that's for sure!

  3. We don't go all out and don't ignore it either...since my b-day is close to Valentine's we often go out for dinner anyway around that time. In the dating years together much more emphasis was placed on the day although I don't we were ever too crazy.

    Now I get the girls a small treat and and they usually make us cards. Nothing over the top, a card, some flowers and usually a coffee gift card or something else close to my heart.

    There is a desperate quality about a holiday where you need to prove your love...everyday is Valentine's day. Ok even I am gagging a bit, but really that is how it should be...kindness and thoughtfulness go a long way.

  4. I've never liked Valentine's Day, but now that I have kids, I like to do the heart cookies/class valentines/ heart craft type of things with them. My husband and I don't exchange gifts, actually, I don't think we ever have on VD. (Heh, VD). If I remember I might buy a three-pack of heart shaped Lindors, but then I might eat one myself. I'm romantic!

  5. Ha, VD. I've done my rants on Valentine's Day, this year I'm too tired. I think you're right -- if your relationship is going to live or die on what happens on V-Day, you have bigger problems. When Angus was two or so, we got one of those eat-at-home meals from a local caterer, just because we hadn't been out for so long -- it was fabulous, we prepared all the little dishes with the scrupulous instructions and lit a candle and ate while he watched Bugs Bunny upstairs. He thought we were very odd. This year my husband might be in Australia. Enh.

  6. My husband and I used to go out for dinner, try to make it fun and special but at the same time relatively simple. Somehow, though, over the last few years our kids have really gotten into it, and they cook us dinner (spaghetti, their one meal, and chocolate cake) and serve it to us and we get fancy menus and salads and things. They have a blast! It's pretty fun, albeit not really romantic.
    This year we're going to have a house guest, so I guess it'll be pretty noneventful.
    You are right though. Before I was in a longterm relationship, I detested V Day.