I like celebrity gossip. I'm not going to try and justify this interest using sports analogies or pop-psychology or sociological and anthropological double talk. I simply enjoy judging the lives of rich, privileged people.
I do however think that not all celebrity is gossip is created equally. Some stories are life affirming or inspiring, while others are demoralizing.
In the former category I include these types of fun/lite/distracting stories:
√ New Babies: I breathe a sigh of relief every time a new celebrity baby is given a proper name (Christina Applegate's Sadie Grace). But even if the child is given something awful (Amy Adams' Aviana Olea Le Gallo) I'm still happy,
√ Weddings: Yes, I'll be watching the Royal Wedding in April,
√ Engagements: It's surprising how often celebrity engagements frequently do not culminate in an actual wedding,
√ Celebrities using their fame for charitable causes. All hail the queen of do-gooders: Angelina Jolie!,
√ Plastic surgery: the smaller Natalie Portman's nose becomes, the less I like her,
√ Stories mocking Scientologists: it's a cult! A cult based on an alien invasion of planet Earth and the reincarnation of clams. I find it amusing when Scientologists get knocked about by the press,
√ Deaths of natural causes after a long life,
√ Stories of newly found sobriety, and
√ Ugly dresses at award ceremonies.
Then there are the kind of stories that are boring or mean or depressing:
√ Movie premiers. Uh. Who cares?,
√ What the children of celebrities are wearing,
√ Break ups or divorces, especially if they involve children or infidelty,
√ Celebrities drinking and driving. I'm so disappointed in Alan Tudyk,
√ Stories about Sarah Palin or her children saying or doing something stupid. She's dumb. Her kids are dumb. And dumb people still love her. This just makes me depressed,
√ Custody battles. As an aside: Is Halle Berry certifiable or does she just need to hire a new publicist?,
√ Anything to do with Oprah,
√ Anything that has anything to do with any reality tv star,
√ Jennifer Aniston and her shrivelled up ovaries on vacation in Mexico drinking and smoking and suntanning,
√ Articles that are about musicians. Especially if they are named Bieber, Gaga, or Miley,
√ Revising the details of Michael Jackson's life and trying to convince people he wasn't a pedophile who preyed on children. He was. He did. The. End.,
√ Deaths by unnatural causes after a short life,
√ Public intoxication and/or mental illness,
√ Cooch flashing. This seems to be a waning trend. Thank heavens, and
√ Kanye West. Why is he still famous?