Friday, September 23, 2011

Cats, Dogs and the Elephant In The Room.

This is the funniest cat video EVER:

Isn't it cute?

Of course not everyone is a cat lover. Dog people might prefer this clip:

I own both a cat AND a dog, so I can see the charm of both of these.

I bet a lot of people find neither of these videos amusing.  That's okay with me, because contrary to rumour, I am tolerant of dissenting opinions. Especially when it comes to trivial matters like...oh, I dunno: HAIR STYLES! As proof of this fact, I offer up my comments on this post. I don't care if you disagree with me, but please don't tell me that I'm NOT entitled to my opinion.

I don't come across very well in that thread. My attempts to diffuse the tension, with humour, fail. I'm combative and not very succinct. By the end I'm just being downright goofy. But I never deny Marilyn her right to disagree. Contrary to what Marilyn now says on her blog "A Lot of Loves", I never call her a stalker.

After I read her blog post, "I was a Blog Stalker OR Everyone Must Agree All the Time," I felt sort of vindicated, but also confused. On the one hand, Marilyn now validates my belief that dissent and disagreement are a good thing.  On the other hand, Marilyn has cast me as the dogmatic person who won't permit people to disagree.  She's got that wrong, and the comments in the initial thread prove it.

I did block Marilyn on Twitter and Facebook, and I -- sadly -- underestimated her response. It is my right to safeguard my privacy, especially when loved ones express concern about my well-being. Real life trumps virtual reality. The specifics of this decision were communicated to Marilyn yesterday via email.

If you feel -- for whatever reason -- that you no longer wish to communicate with me (via email, Twitter, Facebook, Google+, or your blogs -- egads, when did I become such a social media whore?), I understand. Please let me know in the comment section of this post. I'm sorry you have been placed in the middle of this petty spat -- it was my intention to confine the issue to that single post and to private emails.

I don't want to end this post on a divisive note, instead I'd like to express an opinion/sentiment/theory that I think is universally held...

This photo is really, REALLY disturbing:


  1. I'm so unsure of what to say. I really enjoy interacting with both of you and consider you both friends as much as anyone I only know online. I've been feeling sick to my stomach over this, which is kind of dumb since I wasn't directly involved. It is absolutely your right to say what you want on your blog and to choose block or unfriend anyone. I do think/wish Marilyn had let things go earlier, although I don't understand why your friends or family would fear for your safety, and from how I had seen you talk/type with each other before I'm a little curious why you didn't just tell her she was freaking you out and ask her to back down, rather than acting like she was a random troll who was visiting your blog for the first time (again, this is just how it looked to me when I heard about this and went back to view the comments). I don't want you to block or unfriend me, but I wanted to be honest about my feelings so you can decide accordingly if you do want to.

  2. all i know is i like you, nan. sometimes we agree and sometimes we don't. but i feel safe with you and hope you feel safe with me.

    i am too tired to read the whole comment thread (i'm lame!)but you have one opinion and others have a different one.

    do what you have to do to feel safe on-line and in real life.

    you have my support, friend.

  3. ps the chimp photo will now haunt my dreams.

  4. @Christine -- The chimpanzee is wearing FAKE boobs! WHY?! For the love of God, WHY?!

  5. Hmm. I clicked through some of that argument, though I can't say I read every word. It seemed to be a lot of emotion over a very small thing, and I get enough of that in church committee meetings.

    I've read you now through two (or is three?) blog incarnations. I think we've had two disagreements that I can remember. And the way it usually goes is: 1)you state an opinion universally and stridently 2) you realize someone you like might be hurt or offended by your statement 3) you try to smooth it over with humor without actually retracting your opnion.

    And it absolutely charms my socks off.

    It does. There's so much namby-pamby coddling in most conversation. I love that you state things baldly and let it stand. And when I became one of the people who you seemed concerned about offending - well, in terms of bloggy friendship, it was like I had arrived.

    This fight seems like one of those innocent personality conflicts that would blow over in person, and might online too. Two strong personalities (I am not saying rigid, because nothing offends a rigid personality more than being called "rigid") clash. That's life. It's also why my sister and I are sometimes very careful how we speak to each other, and we love each other.

    As far as blocking/unfriending goes, I think the offense is probably the result of confusion over models of confidentiality. You protect your anonymity more than most bloggers. That will be interpreted different ways by different people. If I ever suddenly fall outside the circle of those you want to share with, I promise I will do my damnedest not to take it personally.

  6. Also? I am 39 and I love my very long hair.

  7. @Veronica -- I'm not gonna lie. I read your comment and fell in love w/ you. Alas I'm in a long term committed relationship with the sexy-lady-chimp pictured above and cannot act on my feelings.

  8. WAIT! Does it look like I'm snubbing @Bibliomama and her comment? I'm not! I answered her questions privately.

  9. Charmed my socks off! I love that. Consider me charmed as well.

  10. In every online environment I've seen, the most inflammatory conversations are never about politics, religion, or even hair - they're always about whether or not so-and-so should have said/posted what she said/posted about religion/politics/hair.

    I feel quite confident that you will have no hard feelings towards me at all if I point out that long hair looks WONDERFUL on many women over 30, and that it's the rare woman who can carry off a really short hairstyle.

  11. @Jenifer -- THANKS!

    @Bea -- I bare you no ill will. Do you bare me any ill will than I can't remember if bare, beer, or bear is the appropriate verb to use in the previous sentence? I suck at homonyms.

  12. I have to look up bear every time I want to write that I have a load to bear. Bare? Thank goodness google handles idioms and syntax.

    Looks like I missed something here. I'm sorry if it caused you stress. I don't like it if anyone ruffled a hair on your lovely head.

    And now I have to go get showered for work. Which is why I missed whatever went on here. Working in the afternoons has really cut into my computer time, dang it.