Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Warp Speed Romance.

I'm a day late for Valentine's Day but right on schedule for a Warp Speed Wednesday post saluting romance (and/or sexual dalliances) Star Trek style:

Best Trek romances:

James Kirk & Edith Keeler (TOS).  I first saw this in the 80s and didn't believe that this Joan Collins was the same Joan Collins who starred in Dynasty. Amazing what a few decades (and lots of shoulder pads) will do for a woman. One of only a few women out of THOUSANDS who tamed Kirk's heart and loins. Till she dies.

Picard and Kamala  (TNG). I'm a feminist. I should not like Kamala whose empathic abilities made her  an empty shell that adopts the personality of any man in her presence, but I do.

Kira and Bashir (DS9). They were only a couple in one episode and only because of a viral infection, but it's a fun episode in part because they were an off-screen couple.

Chakotay and Seven of Nine (VOY). This was not a fan favourite because it was "sprung" on the audience suddenly in the final season. Personally, I was just glad they gave Robert Beltran SOMETHING to do after two seasons being the starship equivalent of Gunther on Friends

Miles and Keiko O'Brien (TNG & DS9). An accurate rendering of a marriage in any century.

Picard and Vash (TNG). She was an intergalactic Indiana Jones who left Picard for Q. She was the anti-Beverley Crusher. That alone is reason enough to like her.

(Check out Picard's barely concealed Horga'hn -- ooh la la)

T'Pol and Tripp (ENT). One of the few things I liked about this series.

Torres and Paris (VOY). A much better pairing than Paris with the drippy, elfin Kes.

Jennifer and Benjamin Sisko (DS9). Her death made Benjamin treat Picard like an asshole, but I'm willing to let it slide because she was a strong, clever broad.

And my least favourite couples on Star Trek:

Kirk and Miramanee (TOS). Stranded on a planet,  an amnesiac Kirk literally "goes native" and weds and impregnates a woman. She conveniently dies at the end of the episode. Phew.

Beverly Crusher and Captain Picard (TNG). He belongs with ME. I mean, Vash.

Kes and Neelix (VOY). Kes' species had a life span of seven years. This minor detail tied the hands of the writers because there was this faint hint of pedophilia about her romance with Neelix. 

Jadzia and Worf (DS9). I liked Jadzia. I liked Worf. But I am not a particular fan of Klingon culture nor do I like hearing people discuss their feeeeeeeeeeelings -- both of these were in abundance during Jadzia and Worf episodes

Seska and Chakotay (VOY). After she ran off with Kazon, Seska kidnapped and sedated Chakotay then "stole his DNA" to impregnate herself. Evidently the audience was suppose to know this meant "procured his sperm" and we were not meant to dwell on the particulars. But I could not help myself. Still can't.

Spock and Uhura (Movie XI). Other than shock value this really didn't interest me.
Kira and Odo (DS9). I'm going to assume a shape-shifter who can not form a nose properly would have problems accurately creating other appendages.  Hence: creeeeeeeeeeeeepy.

Hope you had a great Valentine's Day!

• • • • •

By the way, Horga'hns do not come cheap. One sold at Christie's Auction House for $12, 000!


  1. O dear, I think you need help. Real help. And fast!! Fab post n just thought I'd tell you how I look the same in a skin tight leotard as the cutesy elfin lookin chick!

  2. One of my 1st date nights with my husband involved us watching Star Trek & him, the newspaper photog at the time, pointing out how they shot all the women in soft focus, to make them look glowy & beautiful.

    I had never noticed & now you can't NOT notice.

    I have wished ever since that there was a soft-focus setting for life. Especially sexy time.


  3. Ha, Picard and Vash, love it and always have.

    What about Worf and his baby-momma, I can't remember her name? That was a fiery relationship. Plus thanks to that storyline we got to see that crazy Klingon hand-holding that draws blood and stuff.

  4. OMG I hated Kes and was sooo excited when the writers made her go away and got 7of9 in instead. And you forgot the brief borgie romance with the Doctor. Also, didn't Janeway have a few liaisons somewhere along the way? Offhand I'm only remembering the Irish holodeck one (and for that you'd also have to mention Harry and Paris holowhoring it up on a regular basis), but it's been a while since I've watched the serious in full as I only ever had a few early seasons on DVD in the first place and those went with the ex when we divided household goods (some technicality about him having bought them before we were ever dating... pssh, stupid details). Wasn't there one where Q was courting Janeway? I don't know if that really counts as a romance, but it was a really hilarious episode if memory serves.

  5. Oh, and I forgot to mention that I both noticed and appreciated how the picture with the scantly clad Capt. Picard is HUGE while all the others are normal sized. Good call, good call indeed...

  6. @Marty -- Seven was so great & did revitalize the show. I know lots of fans complain about her tight jumpsuits, but Jeri Ryan's acting was top drawer. My fave Janeway romance was one where the whole crew are abducted and brainwashed into becoming a workforce on a planet & Janeway falls in love with one of her coworkers. I'm glad you appreciated the Picard on Risa picture.

    @HodgePodge -- I am prejudiced about the Klingons. They're tiresome. But the Ferengi? I love Ferengi stories for the comedic elements.

    @Eryn -- The original Star Trek was really big on the dewy, soft focus sparkle lighting for women. I wish I had the same effect in real life.

    @Rachel -- the only thing I liked about Kes was her use of colour coordinated tights. Even now, I like her outfits the best.

  7. I think the O'Briens are my favorite of the featured couples.

  8. @Ms Bogan -- When I was younger, I didn't like the O'Brien's at all. But then I got older -- and I got married -- and I began to appreciate that their marriage was a brutally honest and accurate portrait of marriages.