Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Warp Speed Wednesday. The Spots Go All The Way Down.

Season six of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine concluded with the death of Jadzia Dax. She was a Starfleet officer serving on the station and a Trill, a symbiont race where bipedal humans are joined with slug-like creatures who reside in their abdomens. After Jadzia died her slug was passed onto a new host, Ezri.  

We named our new cat Ezri even before we took her home. Even before we told Mr Wrath about her. When we did officially adopt her, I called the vet clinic and booked her in for de-sexing and shots. I spelled her name for the receptionist who remarked it was a beautiful name.

"It's from Star Trek." I said.

"I know. She'll fit right in with two of other cat patients: Chakotay and Seven of Nine."

That there are at least two other Trekkies in this town makes me very happy.

• • • • •

Life with two cats has been interesting. Mostly, Osiris (the black kitten we adopted in August) and Ezri (the flame-point siamese we adopted two weeks ago from the Used Pet Store, aka Animal Control) are co-existing peacefully. There have been a few tussles. Osiris enjoys instigating "fun" wrestling matches, complete with fangs and claws. It seems rather mean, but Ezri doesn't object and gives as good she gets. Osiris does get nasty if he finds Ezri on his cat tree in which case it's a no-holds-barred takedown. Ezri is pretty docile up until the second she tires of him sniffing her lady bits, and then she bops him upside the head. Can you blame her?

There have been three hiccups with her, however. Last week she started drooling ALL. THE. TIME. Using the scientific method (#homeshoolingFTW!), I pinpointed the problem as her new scented cat litter. She stopped drooling once I got rid of the Purina Maxx Multi Cat Scoop Litter1.  Then she developed a case of feline acne (don't follow that link unless you absolutely MUST) on her chin. I assume it's related to the aforementioned drool-palooza, and have been treating it with hot compresses and some swabs of salicylic acid. That will have to do until next week when she can get in to see the town's over-subscribed vet.

These are, in my opinion, minor inconveniences and par for the course in the grand scheme of pet ownership. Having pets is 90% fun and cuddles and 10% unfortunate but necessary contact with bodily fluids and orifices. If you bristled at that last sentence, take it as a sign that you should not own a pet.

This brings me to the third issue to investigate at her vet appointment. Ezri may be pregnant. Her sizable and rapid weight gain (all of it in the belly) is freaking us out. Mr Wrath is convinced it's kittens. I keep telling him it's gas, and that she's putting on weight because she steals Osiris' kitten kibble. But just to be safe, I'm compiling lists of cat names. Uhura. Spock. Janeway. Jean-Luc. Tribble. Q. Riker's Beard. Tricorder. 

• • • • • •

1 I'm mentioning the product by name for benefit of people researching their cat's copious drool production. I switched Ezri and Osiris back to Purina's Maxx Scoop Cat Litter and they're both fine. I assume the problem is that the multi-cat formula has heavily scented air fresheners and deodorizers. 


  1. Is it bad that I knew what the title of the post was referring to before I even got here?

    I love cats. Except for a weird period after I had Angus when I had some kind of oxytocin backlash or just a mild psychosis and hated cats. Also, I'm obsessive compulsive so I probably would have had to name the second cat Isis (my friend has cats named Ego and Pepper and it drives me to distraction). I've lost my train of thought entirely. It's only Wednesday? Crap. Nice cats.

  2. Our dog has multiple skin irritations/food allergies that I just sort of ignore right now because it's been ten years of living with it and we've never figured out the right combination of food/benadryl/special soap to keep her from breaking out quarterly. For me, it's probably 60% fun, 40% bodily fluid and orifices. What with her continuing to randomly pee in my carpet when she gets the urge. Sigh. I had a dream last night that she went blind at the age of TWENTY. I wonder what it meant?!

  3. Pet ownnership, not for the faint of heart. Kittens! Wow, that would be the ultimate home school lesson for the boys. When will you know?

  4. @Bibliomama -- Ego and Pepper would bother me also. Originally we were going to get a second dog and call him Garbanzo Bean or Baba Ganoush so that he'd be a match set with Falafel. But we got distracted and forgot about that plan and that naming pattern. And of course with cats, they don't even respond to their names, so it's all kind of pointless.

    i'd like to hear more about your cat psychosis -- please blog about it.

    @Melanie D -- There's a special bond between people owning old dogs. It's so...humbling. And gross. And aromatic.

    @Jennifer -- We'll find out next Tuesday at the vet. Unless she gives birth before that. If the latter happens you will know because you will hear me scream all the way over in Ontario. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!