Thursday, March 29, 2012

Me and Michelle. A Quiz.


Answer the following quiz to determine if you know more about Nan (who writes this blog) or more about Michelle (the matriarch from 19 Kids And Counting):

1. True or false, Michelle's quiver is full, whereas Nan is just fine not raising up an army of God's soldiers who share a profound fondness for tan skirts or slacks and string instruments.


2. True of false, Michelle said "Well, first off, the idea of overpopulation is not accurate because really the entire population of the world, if they were stretched shoulder to shoulder, could fit within the city limits of Jacksonville."


3.  True or false, Nan doesn't like to be touched by strangers and will be declining Michelle's invitation to visit Jacksonville, PLUS Nan knows that the earth has a finite carrying capacity and overpopulation by humans is a serious threat to our society's high standard of living and our species' continued existence.

4. Who said "Husbands are commanded to govern their wives; God works through a man’s decisions — good or bad" with a straight face?
a. Nan
b. Michelle

5. Which woman has trouble differentiating between a bad habit and a tradition, to such an extent that she's given all of her children names that start with an -J?
a. Nan
b. Michelle

6. True or false: Nan feels badly for Jinger who won the Duggar's Shitty Name Lottery. Second prize is split between Johannah, Joy-anna and Jana.

7. Who could win a "Working Girl" look alike contest?
a. Nan
b. Michelle

 

8. True or False: Nan publicly endorsed Rick Santorum for president because "We want a man that honors God to lead our nation. We have been praying to the Lord that if you want the heart of the voters to turn to Rick Santorum, then please do so."


9. Who can say "the Earth is over 4 billion years old" without nervously glancing at the sky wondering if she will be struck by lightning?
a. Nan
b. Michelle

10. Who thinks that calling Genesis is a "parable" does NOT invalidate the bible or Christianity?
a. Nan
b. Michelle

Scoring:
Give yourself one point for every answer you chose without the assistance of your husband Jim-Bob! You're an automatic WINNER! Email Nan and let her know which prize you'd like to claim:
1. a field trip to the Creation Museum in Petersburg, Kentucky, or
2. an all-expenses paid trip to Jacksonville as part of their "Come to Jacksonville and rub up against 7 billion people" tourism campaign.

7 comments:

  1. *snort*

    What brought this hilarious piece of bloggery about?

    *chortle*

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  2. Aw, don't be hatin' on Michelle. Her heart is in the right place even if her brain isn't.

    I hadn't heard that about Jacksonville. It must be much, much bigger than I thought.

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  3. Oh no! I wasn't able to answer any of these questions without the assistance of my husband Jim-Bob (imagine sarcasm emoticon here)

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  4. @Maggie -- I am fluent in sarcasm and appreciated your comment.

    @hodgepodge... -- It was one thing for Michelle to promote Quiverful philosophies and creationist "science" on the family's TLC show. But now that she's giving media interviews and openly spreading her ridiculous and dangerous beliefs about the environment and politics, I have no qualms about mocking her.

    Michelle's "Let's rub against one another in Jacksonsville" idea comes from this website.

    @Mary -- Every time I see a denim jumper I think of Michelle, and thank my lucky stars that Mr Wrath's name isn't Jim-Bob. It started from that idea.

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  5. Is her husband's name actually Jim-Bob? Is Jinger actually Ginger with a J? Because the first time I saw it I thought it rhymed with singer, and I was about to call Children's Services.

    I actually think she looks pretty good for having birthed that many babies. *pats down hair nervously*. But I still pick you as the mother I would rather awkward-hug.

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  6. Wait! I chose all my answers myself, but are they RIGHT? I won't be able to sleep tonight.

    And yes, she does look pretty darn fantastic for 19 kids. On the other hand, one of my 3 rocks a pink tutu, and one has such big hair that he can 'fro it. I am also the mother of a Jedi Master. I guess I'll stick with being rapidly aging and my 3. Just how big was a quiver anyway?

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  7. I remember the episode, the creationist museum is fucking scary. I still cannot figure out how she seems to be so god damn HAPPY all the god damn time. Also, as my two children are driving me nuts as we speak (well, as I attempt to ignore them to catch up on blog reading and type awesome and insightful comments), all I can think of is how waking up to being the mother of a brood like THAT would be the scariest horror film of all time.

    Joy-Anna is definitely my personal second runner up for horrible J names.

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