Further Proof that Fame and Money Can Not Buy Common Sense or Good Taste: the Baby Name Edition:
Penelope Scotland Disick
Obviously in this instance I'm using "celebrity" in it's widest sense, the sense that includes the sub-category of "talentless famewhores from reality television shows." I'm impressed that Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick picked such a lovely, normal name. My happiness is only slightly diminished by their choice of middle name. I guess the father really, REALLY wanted to get his name in there. I should just be happy that they didn't spell it Scottlynde.
Keeva Jane Denisof
"Mmmm. I just love sprinkling some freeze-dried Keeva -- an all-natural, artificial sweetener made from the chemically preserved tears of vegans -- on top of my morning cup of muesli" is what springs to mind when I hear the "name" given to Alyson Hannigan and Alexis Denisof's second daughter. You can see the whole family in these *cough** completely staged for the press **cough* candid photos.
Marlowe Ottoline Layng Miller-Sturridge
This is the rumoured name of the baby recently born to Sienna Miller and Tom Sturridge. Marlowe is a great name. For a hard-boiled detective in a Raymond Chandler mystery novel. Otherwise it is awful.
I'm much more enamoured of the chosen middle name. For me, Ottoline always brings to mind an "autoclave" and the book character created by Chris Riddell. I really hope that Tom Sturridge doesn't go shagging the nanny (in manner of Sienna' former
I'm still holding out hope that the child's name is actually spelled correctly. Marlo is the superior option.
Normally I'd be inclined to chastise a parent who gave their child such an insubstantial name. However considering Sonny's siblings are a girl named Casper and a boy named Pilot Inspektor, I'm just going to let it slide and instead ask women to stop reproducing with Jason Lee. PLEASE STOP HAVING THE SEX WITH THIS MAN! For one thing he's a Scientologist and for another thing he's got to be crazy if he's a Scientologist. Furthermore he sucks at naming children.
Maxwell Drew Johnson
This girl was recently born to Jessica Simpson and some guy who agreed to impregnate her so she would "win" by having a child before her Nick Lachey's wife gave birth. C'mon -- you know that's what this is really about. Maxwell is just one of many tragic things this child will have to deal with in life, starting with a mother who hasn't realized the girl will be called "Maxi Pad" from the moment she starts junior high.
Emet Kuli Hershkovitz
Are these really names? I desperately want these to be legitimate names with an ethnic background or religious connection that I'm simply not aware of. It would be of great comfort to know that when she named her son, Lisa Loeb didn't just mess with the spelling of Emmett and use a noun with racial overtones.
Isabetta Rose Mariano
When I look at this name I hear the voice of Jar Jar Binks saying "Isa betta this is not a real name. Messa thinkin' it little bitty axadente, huh?" She's the third child for game show winners Rob and Amber Mariano.
Adalaide Marie Hope Kelley
Dear Josh Kelley and Katherine Heigl,
Good job: two out of the three names you gave your daughter are spelled correctly.
Every Spellcheck Program Your Daughter Will Ever Use In Her Lifetime.
Mabel Ray Willis
This is a lovely name! I have no issue with it, plus it shows Demi Moore was to blame for her daughters with Bruce Willis being called Tallulah, Scout and Rumer.
Maple Sylvie Bateman
On behalf of Canadians, let me clarify that Maple is not a name in Canada. Nor is it a homage to our nation. In Canada -- and everywhere else -- the name Maple is a punchline. I'm very disappointed in Jason Bateman.
Astala Dylan Willow Geldof-Cohen
Bob Geldof thinks his grandson has a horrible name. And when a man who named his own children Peaches Honeyblossom, Fifi Trixibelle, and Little Pixie doesn't like a name, you know it's truly awful.