Thursday, September 6, 2012

For the Love of a Good Modem.

My modem died last week. It'd been acting flakey for months, and I'd just come to accept unplugging it for 10 seconds several times a day was a workable solution. A power outage on Tuesday was the final straw. It took until this Tuesday for Telus to deliver my replacement modem.

In retrospect it's a good thing that I was internet-less. It saved me from writing many posts about how I hated our new dog and was considering sending her nippy, bratty, cute little ass to the pound. Instead, I hired a dog trainer to come for a consult (official diagnosis: Fogo is a nippy, bratty, cute asshole with zero bite inhibition) and sobbed on the phone to my friends (thanks, Megan and MaryLUE for being so patient).

Things are much improved now.

The nipping is mostly under control. We're using clicker training with treats for compliance as we teach Fogo voice commands. She's spending more time in her kennel so she doesn't get over tired. She gets four walks a day. We downgraded her food to one with less protein. The trainer made the analogy that a companion dog should not get the same food as a working dog, much like a horse at a petting zoo doesn't eat the same feed as a race horse.

But just when I was beginning to think that I was not completely incompetent as a pet owner, I learned our cats are "amazingly obese." When the vet made this pronouncement I pointed at my skinny human children and said "Do I get partial points for not fattening up these two?"  In my defense, it's really hard to know how much to feed a cat and what is a cat's ideal weight. For one thing, Ezri and Osiris won't stay on the bathroom scale long enough to get a reading. And secondly, sometimes it's hard to tell where the fluffy fur ends and the fat begins. Thirdly: Osiris is nicer when he is too fat to bite.

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While I was in the doldrums on the weekend, Mr Wrath had me watch this clip on his Blackberry. Tom Jones -- he makes the world a better place with his hip shaking, dance moves. The whole thing is fantastic, but if you're pressed for time start watching at the 1:12 mark.





11 comments:

  1. Tom Jones DOES make the world a better place. He's like Elaine Bennett... with rhythm.

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    1. Elaine Bennett... with rhythm. I love it!!! Oh, and I thank you for the giggles.

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    2. +1 for the awesome Seinfeld reference!

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  2. I'm throwing my panties at the screen RIGHT NOW. Tom Jones, how I love you, and not even ironically.

    As I told you, Barkley's fat too. Yay me and my fat dog. I think it's the Labrador in him, he has zero shut-off valve. I also blame my mother who feeds him treats on the sly and says he's big-boned, not fat.

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  3. I skipped right to the 1:12 mark so I could get over here and comment. That is a great video, you are correct.

    I want you to know that I Missed you while you were away. My assumption was that you were camping. I also was waiting for some political posts since the U.S. conventions are/were happening. I remember fondly '08. My electorate actually went to our current president, something I will NEVER see again in my lifetime unless we leave Nebraska, which is not likely. I remember the hope. The excitement. Do you watch Jon Stewart regularly? They were trying to come up with a new slogan this week and it was "Yes we can, but..." which was very very funny.

    Any way, any time you want to join/start a U.S. politics conversation you can count me in. I was apathetic prior to this week, but the DNC has done their job and convinced me that I should at least VOTE, if nothing else. Sigh.

    Glad you're back!

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    1. We haven't been camping much, and now w/ the new puppy I'm kind of craving a schedule.

      I keep waiting for the US political election to capture my imagination. But so far I am not feeling inspired. I should try watching the Daily Show.

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  4. My laptop died last week (apparently the motherboard is fried, which just seems fitting on so many levels). I have a new one with a keyboard I hate - the shift key is just slightly too far over so every time I try to capitalize, I first do \\\\\\\\ < that, and then curse. What the fuck do I need a backslash key there for ANYWAY? I know, first world problems. Glad we're both back. Well, I guess I would have to stir my lazy-ass self to actually WRITE a blog post before I can really say I'm back.

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    1. My pinky finger is too delicate to reach all the way down to the question mark key so I am often writing declarative sentences when I mean to ask questions.

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  5. I love and adore your commentary on your pets. Or at least I'm assuming those are the correct adjectives to describe my feelings to laughing uncontrollably after reading it. Sometimes it's hard to tell.

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    1. Thanks. Pet are a great asset in keeping my self esteem in check.

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