Friday, September 14, 2012

My Third Post of the Month.

Usually when I sit down to blog I have something on my mind. More often than not that germ of an idea morphs into something completely different once I start tapping away on the keyboard.

Today I have nothing to write but I feel compelled to post SOMETHING. Did I mention we have a dog? Yes we do. And at the suggestion of the certified (yes, she's got these fancy letters after her name and totally knows what she's doing) dog trainer, Fogo is never left alone in a room and is always tethered to something or someone. This is because...okay, I don't remember why we're doing this. It's something about imprinting the fact that Fogo's new life is  human centric and also to ensure that she doesn't eat the furniture and also because I've always wanted to have an entourage PLUS having a single moment to oneself for preservation of one's sanity is totally over rated. Or something.

I am attachment parenting a dog.

Except for those times when I put her in her kennel and walk away. I love those times. I wish we'd kennel trained the human babies.

HAHAHA.

I'm just joking. Sort of.

In other news I made a profile account-thingy over at Goodreads. Here's an unforeseen side effect of e-readers: I have no idea the names of books that I read. Sure, I see the name when I download the book, and that first time I select the title off the main menu, but that's it. So it never sinks into my brain. Several times I have downloaded books only to realize after a few pages that I've already read it. This is of course also an indication of the quality of books I read (fluff) and the homogeneity of books I read (set in England or Ireland. Yes, I do need to branch out into other genres, but am kind of limited by my preference for happy endings and minimal violence.

Here are some of my recent reviews:

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, by Steig LarsomethingForeign: 1 out of 5 stars
When a friend recommended this book, I asked if it was very violent. She assured that there was some violent scenes, but nothing deviant or hardcore and that it was kind of sexy. Evidently my friend is a pervert. This book is amazingly violent and most of the graphic scenes are not necessary to the plot development.

Bossypants, by Tina Fey: 5 out of 5 stars
If Tina Fey ever moves away from New York City and relocates to the same small northern British Columbia town where I live, she and I will be best friends. Know how I know this? Because this book shows that we have the same AMAZING sense of humour and STUNTED emotional growth.

The Help, by someone woman who you will never hear from again: 1 out of 5 stars
I can't take this book seriously. It's  insulting that the deep, dark secret that changes the power imbalance between the white employers and their black household staff is something as base and trivial as a poop-filled pie.   And now I will never again enjoy chocolate mousse.

The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid, by Bill Bryson: 5 out of 5 stars
I read part of this while on an elliptical trainer at the gym. I laughed so hard I fell off and nearly took out the woman beside me.

Okay.

That's enough for now.

Tah rah.

8 comments:

  1. You need to post more book reviews. These are awesome.

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    1. A whole new venue for my snarky opinions (which are not facts, OBVIOUSLY) -- I LOVE IT!

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  2. Love those reviews.
    I LOVED Bossypants. Fey says out loud the stuff I can only say in my head.
    Glad Fogo is getting more used to the whole "we cant bite every single thing every moment of the day" concept.

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  3. I received Bossypants for Christmas and I've probably read it five or six times since then. It is instantly cheering. I love her. I've read the part about her working at the YMCA even more because I die laughing every time. "The epicenter of human grimness".

    The Help? Meh. I don't want to see the movie, but I DID want to know how they dealt with the poop pie. Too many questions for me - how would one NOT taste the poop?

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  4. I find the idea of attachment parenting a dog hilarious, and the idea of kennel training children AWESOME.

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  5. I haven't read The Help, but I enjoyed the film - I hear it's a little different. I know you're being flippant but I'll go ahead and throw this out anyway that maybe it wasn't so much the pie as just standing up to her for the first time.

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    1. Going into the book all I knew was that there is a SECRET that shifted the power balance between the characters. I was expecting a secret with substance. Like a forbidden love affair. Or an act of violence. Something meaty. For the secret to be as banal as poop in a pie, was disappointing. I've read articles analyzing and justifying why the plot hinged upon the poop-pie, but ultimately I think it's because the writer lacked the skill and knowledge to create and explore a deeper, more substantial secret. I'm actually curious about the movie, just for the fashions. But I can't get past the poop. Yes. I've probably got issues.

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  6. I got Bossypants for my birthday and had the same reaction - Tina Fey and I will be besties. Love her.

    Huge Bill Bryson fan, too.

    I suspected I wouldn't like The Help, and now your review confirms for me that I'm just not interested in it.

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