Monday, October 8, 2012

Gobble gobble.

When it comes to holiday dining, Mr Wrath is a bit of traditionalist. He wasn't even tempted by this ad:





Instead we bought a 10-pound turkey for $5. That is $545 dollars less than the Lab[r]adoodle [sic] puppies, plus the bird was already plucked and gutted.

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In the five years we've homeschooled, I have only managed a Thanksgiving craft once. This week when I suggested a craft, Klaxon said "If you force me to make a hand print turkey, I will definitely not be giving thanks." I couldn't argue with him. I'm not much of a Thanksgiving fan either. Canadian Thanksgiving is a pale imitation of the original, superior American Thanksgiving.

STOP! Do not immediately page to the bottom of this post and write "Canadian Thanksgiving is the original Thanksgiving because  in the summer of 1578 Martin Frobisher said a prayer giving thanks while on Baffin Island!!11!!"  Yes, this is the story taught to Canadians in elementary school that legitimizes our tradition as separate from the American version. It's also a passive aggressive dig that the Americans are copying us, as their Thanksgiving is traced to 1621. But I don't believe a transient British explorer reciting a single prayer in the summertime should be considered the inspiration for our current, turkey-centric, harvest festival. Historians trace our Thanksgiving to Upper Canada in the 1800s, and merchants deliberately patterned the day after the American version.

In order for me to like Thanksgiving one or both of the following changes will need to occur:

1. we roll back the date to match the American holiday. TWO DAYS OFF! CHRISTMAS BARGAIN SHOPPING! THEMATIC TELEVISION SPECIALS! NOT HAVING TO DO YARD WORK,

or

2. instead of imitating the American holiday's themes and foods, we create uniquely Canadian traditions. We use it as an opportunity to teach young people about Canada's history, ie there were no Pilgrims here. Let's forgo turkey in favour of locally popular or regionally sourced foods, ie Alberta beef, Kraft Dinner, caribou, maple syrup, moose, salmon, Timbits, perogies, LAB[R]ADOODLE [sic] PIE!

9 comments:

  1. This is why I'm a vegetarian. I just could never eat a Labradoodle puppy. Sorry, but it's true. And I think that people who do are total dickwads.

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    1. I agree. Only dickwads eat Labradoodles. And only SUPER-DUPER DICKWADS breed their pets for profit and then can't be bothered to spell Labradoodle correctly.

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  2. Ha I forgot all about thanksgiving since we are homeschoolers too. I remembered Saturday and we had quinoa with papadums, beets, an a bunch of other stuff... No turkey. LOl

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  3. Here I was coming to wish you a Happy Superior Thanksgiving Holiday, since I think it is brilliant to have more than a month between 2 major holidays. Not that it matters, since the stores are all confused on their dates anyway!

    Besides, I hear your turkeys are different: http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2012/10/8/happy-canadian-thanksgiving.html

    Happy Thanksgiving! I'm with Z--NO TURKEY HAND PRINTS!!

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  4. If you force me to make a hand print turkey...ha ha ha!!

    I do enjoy the cadence of our fall/winter. Halloween. Thanksgiving. Christmas. Once a month, something festive. It's February/March when shit gets real and I get crabby. Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's do not give me the same enjoyment. At least not enough to help me not want to skip straight to spring.

    Right now we are all about Halloween and planning costumes. I have noticed I'm not so much for the crafts lately either. I pin a few now and then on Pinterest, but we don't actually ever make them!

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  5. No handprints here this year. Kudos to my kids' teachers for having originality. F made a folded turkey & placemat, S made the coolest paper pumpkin I've seen...hard to explain so I'll have to show you: http://craftsanity.com/2009/11/craftsanity-on-tv-thanksgiving-crafts/ (scroll down to the pumpkin & imagine it labeled with notes of thanks).

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  6. I was not going to skip down here and say that Canadians were first with Thanksgiving. Until a few years ago, I didn't realize Canada celebrated a Thanksgiving at all. Bad Neighbor.

    I any event, I support your proposed changes and the associated Buying-New-Stuff-The-Day-After-Being-Grateful-For-What-We-Have. Some of those old ladies are fierce, though. They'll punch a girl over a good sale item.

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  7. I know that I am TWELVE DAYS LATE on this, but Canadian Thanksgiving used to be November 6- it was bumped to the second Monday in October when Remembrance Day became a recognized holiday in Canada after the Second World War. So, unless we stop recognizing Remembrance Day, moving it closer to American Thanksgiving is unlikely to happen. ;-) ;-)

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  8. I was in Canada for Canadian Thanksgiving and it totally sucked. I love everything else about Canada, but I think Americans have perfected a holiday centered around eating.

    But it also could've sucked because there wasn't any poutine and there was broccoli with cheese sauce. Wtf?!

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