Friday, November 16, 2012

True North Strong and SEXY.

As part of their Sexiest Man Alive edition, People magazine compiled a feature called The United States of Sexy, fifty American men representing their home states who were -- at some point in history -- sexy to someone with questionable taste.

In the name of patriotism, here is my True North Strong and SEXY list.

Newfoundland: Allan Hawco



The Newfoundland tourism authority should adopt the slogan "Come to Newfoundland and we'll let you french kiss Allan Hawco." People will be lining up to get on those ferries just to get a taste of this:



Nova Scotia: Sidney Crosby




Why you might know him: he plays hockey and is very good. I go to great lengths to remain ignorant of hockey and am not prepared to sacrifice my hockey-free bubble for the sake of a blog post. You'll have to google the specifics on your own time.

New Brunswick: Ian Hanomansing



I could listen to newscaster Ian Handsome-Man-Thing all day long. I love his voice. 

Prince Edward Island: Jonathan Torrens
Honourary mention: Gilbert Blythe




Canadians know Jonathan Torrens as the host of Street Cents. American's might remember him as the Gotta-Be-Gay Guy from The Joe Schmo faux-reality TV show.

Gilbert Blythe is fictional but so what -- every Canadian women under the age of 45 loves him.

Quebec:  Garbriel Aubry Alexandre Despatie
Honourary mention: William Shatner







Updated on November 22:


Gabriel Aubry is beautiful to look at but he has questionable taste in women, ie Halle Berry.

Laval's Alexandre Despatie has usurped the title of Sexy Quebecois! He is the reason why Speedos will never go out of fashion. Viva La Banana Hammock!

Yes, I think William Shatner is sexy. Even today. DON'T JUDGE ME -- JUDGE MY LADY BITS! THEY CAN NOT BE REASONED WITH.


Ontario: Adam van Koeverden
Honourary mention: Ryan Gosling








Ridiculously handsome Adam van Koeverden has a big paddle and he knows how to use it.

Ryan Gosling seems like a genuinely nice person. He should be named Canada's Ambassador to Women. Those dimples would diffuse a lot of international political tension.

Manitoba: Adam Beach



He was on one of the Law & Order spin-offs and I managed to sit through several gore-filled episodes just to see his cheek bones.

Saskatchewan: Cas Anvar
Honourary mention: my husband.





Anvar is playing Dodi in the new Princess Diana biopic, which is obviously some very inventive casting since he is way hotter than the original Dodi.

That's not really a picture of my husband. That's Jim Gaffigan who is not my husband and who is not Canadian but who is the actor my husband is sometimes compared to. My husband is sexier, however.

Alberta: Nathan Fillion   Richard Castle  Nathan Fillion only in the role of Richard Castle



Do you think that Nathan Fillion is an attractive fellow who is very amusing on ABC's Castle? Then you should absolutely NEVER read his Twitter profile. Let the illusion live on. Learn from my heart ache.

British Columbia: Ryan Reynolds



For me Ryan Reynolds will always be Berg from Two Guys and A Girl and A Pizza Place. Which means I see him not so much as a heart throb, but as a comedian. Funny is sexy, in my world.

Yukon/Nunavut/Northwest Territories: Tahmoh Penikett



He has appeared on Battlestar Galactica, Dollhouse and several of my naughty dreams.

• • • • • • • • •

Did I miss anyone? Let me know.

If you haven't had enough of the sexy mens, you might want to check out blog posts by Beck at This Is My New Blog, Hannah at Hodgepodge and Strawberries, Nicole at Girl in a Boy House and The Beached Librarian.

18 comments:

  1. This is all kinds of awesome. Filled with some very pretty men,
    You have much better taste than people.

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    1. I should write a really sincere letter of complaint to People and see if I can get it published. Hmmmm...

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  2. True story about Sidney Crosby - he used to practice his slapshot in his parents' basement by whacking hockey pucks off the washing machine. By the time he started playing Quebec Major / Junior, it was a dented, scratched mess. When he got drafted into the NHL, the first thing he bought with his many many monies was a brand-new top of the line washing machine for his mom.

    I have a soft spot for Sid the Kid. He's just a nice guy in addition to being crazy talented.

    I only love Nathan Fillion as Captain Mal. Oh Firefly, we hardly knew ye.

    And Ian Handsome-man-thing! Oh, such a giant crush I have on him. I was so bummed when CBC restructured yet again and I couldn't watch him every night.

    This is a great list. We grow 'em good-looking up here, don't we?

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    1. Beck's theory is that Canada generates handsome men on account of all the KD we eat. I think she's on to something.

      Ah. Sidney sounds like a sweetie.

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  3. Fillion's Twitter is only marginally funny. I don't find him particularly offensive, but he's not really funny on his own.

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    1. Fillion's twitter account killed the crush I nursed since 1993 when I stalked him around the University of Alberta campus. WHY MUST REALITY BE SO CRUEL TO MY FANTASIES!

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  4. Nathan Fillion is from Alberta? Why am I only learning this now?

    You know, Gilbert Blythe grew up to be a very handsome man! I had SUCH a big crush on him back in the day. I used to watch that VCR tape over and over, skipping through the Canadian Tire "Give like Santa, save like Scrooge" commercials. Oh how I wish I still had that tape, and a VCR to play it on.

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    1. I use to hate those "Give like Santa, save like Scrooge" commercials until they came out with the "Canadian Tire Guy" character. WORST NEIGHBOUR EVER.

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  5. I would be so much better at geography if my high school teacher had done it by sexiest man region breakdown. I feel more knowledgeable of Canada already.

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  6. I have a soft spot for Shatner as Kirk myself though...
    And what's wrong with Fillion's twitter? Been following him for a couple of years and I thought he was fine. Quirky, sometimes funny, very geeky. And he's known as a nice guy.

    And I have a giant crush on Ryan Reynolds despite some definite douche vibes. Oh, who's perfect?..

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    1. Yes to the douche vibe from Ryan Reynolds! Why is that?!

      I read your comment and thought, "Maybe I should check out Nathan Fillion's twitter stream again. It's been three years. Perhaps he is no longer stealing jokes from in-production scripts on Castle and passing the punch lines off as his own. Maybe he just as cute and clever as you thought when you were 20 and went to Theatre Sports weekly just to see him perform." I clicked over and saw that that he is shamelessly encouraging people to vote for him as Best Actor in the Peoples Choice Awards. That's pretty goofy. But you're right he does have a reputation as a genuinely nice guy. I just don't find goofiness or brazen self-promotion (really? The Peoples Choice Awards?!) particularly sexy if it's not paired with a very sharp wit. In short: I like Richard Castle.

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    2. Hehe, I don’t really see it that way. Went to check his feed as well, and I saw him geeking out about a reply from Shatner (!) and yeah, several PCA nomination retweets which were pretty funny overall. As for stealing from Castle scripts, I bet it’s the other way around. When I used to watch this show (stopped couple of seasons ago), I remember Castle people saying that he is the most like his character of the whole cast and that half of his lines are improvised. So there is that. But if you knew him personally and thought he was great I guess, for me, it would've been more indicative than a twitter feed. And I certainly don’t think his is the worst I’ve ever seen, heh. My personal ideal of wittiness and thoughtfulness as actors go, is Gabriel Byrne though. Some of his interviews are hilarious.

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    3. @Ghastly yours --

      I want to be perfectly clear: I didn' t know Nathan Fillion personally. I stalked him.

      Not in a Glenn Close type fashion, but in a much more low-key, juvenile fashion when he and I attended the same VERY LARGE university. A friend and I developed an interactive Where's Waldo game and kept track of and rewarded points for spotting Nathan Fillion at certain places on campus. And we NEVER spoke to him. Because we were nerds. Virginal nerds.

      As for his…well, I did use the term "stealing" earlier but now I regret it. That was rather harsh. Maybe "borrowing" is a better term? "Embellishing" -- seems like a less inflammatory phrase. But anyway...yes, it's possible that the jokes were his and he ad-libbed them into the scripts.

      By the way, I love your avatar. I'm a big fan of Mrs Stephen Fry's twitter account. And I've seen or read a Gabriel Byrne interview -- now I'm curious!

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  7. Brilliant! I didn't even know Allan Hawco existed (I'm so behind the times). I hope you don't mind, but I used some of your list in mine (http://beachedlibrarian.ca/2012/11/18/sexiest-men-revisited/) because your cross Canada list was just too awesome to pass up. Plus, Adam Beach!

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    1. Thanks for linking to my blog! I've decided it is my new calling to spread the Allan Hawco Love far and wide.

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  8. Adam Beach for me is kind of like Nathan Fillion for you - I know too much (his kids go to my kids' school and my teacher-friend has met him). I loved Fillion as Captain Mal - as Castle I think he's kinda cheesy, but fun. I'm trying to think of something clever to add, but I just watched Jaws and now it's flipped over to Two-Headed Shark Attack and I can feel my IQ dropping by the millisecond.

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    1. I need a great deal of utopia mixed into my science-fiction, hence I have never gotten into Firefly/Serenity. But I love me some frommage a la mystery! Hence I love Castle. Know the only thing that would make Castle more awesome? A Two-Headed Shark Attack. No. Wait. Nuclear weapon bearing two-headed sharks. That go rogue and turn upon their CIA handlers. And Castle and Beckett investigate the case. Oh. MAN. That would be so awesome.

      I said it earlier but it bears repeating: reality should play no part in fantasy. DAMN YOU, ADAM BEACH, FOR BEING A REAL PERSON IN ALISON'S WORLD!

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