Friday, December 28, 2012

Point Form Friday.

Someone commented that the sparkly skull on display in my living room wasn't very festive. That person was wrong. But all the same, I went out and bought a Santa hat just to amp up the Christmas cheer emanating from the Skull of Christmases Past:



Christmasy, right?
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Anna Paquin is evidently following Uma Thurman's lead and staying silent about the names of her babies. I'm not faulting her for this choice, but I assume it requires a high degree of vigilance to keep friends, family, coworkers, staff from leaking the names.  It sounds exhausting. What -- twins weren't enough work?

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Do you need a laugh? Then you are in luck. Out of the goodness of my heart I will direct you to a blog post that is the funniest blog post in the history of all things. Read "dear white people, i love you."

Actually her whole blog is hysterical. I'm jealous.

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According to Zarf (age 10) I have a "Pillow Collection." It consists of:
-a bone pillow: it goes between my knees when I sleep on my side to keep my hips from aching,
-a travel pillow: used when I'm napping in my recliner or the car and I don't want to get a stiff neck,
-a contoured neck and cervical pillow: in this case "cervical" is referring to cervical vertebrae and has nothing to do with the cervix in my lady bits, and
-a half-bolster: when I'm sleeping on my back it goes underneath my knees.

Getting old is FUN!


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I'm going to start a tumblr page called Kijiji Ads Translated Into the Truth. This will be first entry:



"We are getting rid of this six-year old dog -- one of fifteen that we use in our backyard dog breeding business -- because her uterus is on the verge of prolapsing. Also I want to spend more time on my favourite hobby: waxing my chest."

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If you are looking for dogs or puppies on craigslist or kijiji, be wary if you see someone selling a "puppy starter kit" and giving away a FREE dog with it. This is likely a person who is banned from breeding or selling dogs because of past transgressions of municipal bylaws or animal cruelty laws. They've found a loophole to exploit by giving away the puppy and over charging for a collar, leash, food dish, kennel, etc.

Another variation is an overpriced saddle and a FREE horse. 

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I just bought The Mystery of Mercy Close, Marian Keyes' new book. This means for the next few days my husband will be awoken by the sound of me laughing as I read in bed at night. I really need to get him a pair of earplugs. NO! Even better: Marian Keyes books should be sold in sets with earplugs. Damn. That's brilliant. It would save a few marriages. "A free pair of earplugs with every Marian Keyes book purchased" would be the slogan. But it would have fewer words. And it would rhyme. There would be a jingle, too. Sung by one of those breathy boy bands. And the earplugs would be CAMOUFLAGE! Or some other manly colour scheme. This could be a great cross promotional marketing opportunity with brand synergy opportunities for all stakeholders.

I have no idea what that last sentence meant, but it sounded quite clever.

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To reward you for reading all these nonsensical words here's some eye candy: vintage Tom Selleck!





No chest waxing here!


7 comments:

  1. I love Vintage Tom. And your random posts. Happy Friday!!

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  2. Oh, Magnum. I like the Hawaiian prints.

    I don't know whether to laugh or cry with regards to the Kijiji ad. Laugh with the waxed chest photo. Cry with the backyard breeding business.

    I think I need a pillow collection. But mine will be stuffed with Tom Selleck's chest hair. Mmmm. Manly.

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  3. The Mystery of Mercy Close won't be released here until April! WTF, publishing people?

    Nevertheless, I preordered it and will have a happy surprise on my Kindle this Spring. Thanks for telling us about her! I love discovering new authors.

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    1. YES! Canada -- we have too much snow and our netflix isn't as good as the American version. BUT we immediately get books when they are published in the UK. It's a small victory, but we'll take it.

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  4. How have I missed Marian Keyes? This book looks sooo good and it has been a long time since I have thought that. Pillow collection...yes please.

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    1. Her books are wonderful. I highly recommend them all.

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