For Christmas, Zarf and Klaxon1 each received an iPod nano. Zarf wanted one so he could listen to audiobooks constantly. Klaxon wanted the freedom to play soundtracks composed by John Williams while drawing.
When I went to charge the iPods on Christmas Day, I realized we needed to upgrade to iTunes 10.7.
To get iTunes 10.7, we needed to upgrade to Mac OS X 10.8.2.
To get to Mac OS X 10.8.2, we needed to download the App Store App.
To get the App Store App, we needed to be running Mac OS X 10.6.8.
To get Mac OS X 10.6.8, we needed to install Mac OS X 10.6.3.
To get Mac OS X 10.6.3, we had to buy a disc and have it couriered to us, because it's no longer available for download.
But before we could install Mac OS X 10.6.3, we needed to upgrade the computer's memory.
Meaning that nothing could happen until the local computer store ordered in the memory for our antiquated (translation: bought in 2009) computer and installed it.
Which is why today -- 20 days after opening their stockings -- Zarf and Klaxon finally got to use their iPods. During the entire time, they did not once complain that I -- with a great deal of help from the greedy assholes at Apple -- made them wait. I want to acknowledge who deserves the credit for their emotional maturity and compassion: their father. Praise be to god that my temper is not genetic, but simply a personal failing borne of self absorption and a love of instant gratification.
This morning I suggested the boys try making me feel guilty then promise to forgive me if I bought some music off iTunes. They initially declined.
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?! Why are they more mature than ME?!
Ultimately Zarf agreed I could buy him a 39 Clues audiobook. Klaxon picked out the Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets soundtrack.
Merry freakin' Christmas.
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Klaxon and Zarf are aliases. Only a fool would give these "names" to real people. Don' t be a fool: give your children real names that won't limit their career options.