Thursday, January 3, 2013

It's 2013 -- Suck On That, Long-Dead Creator of the Mayan Calendar. You were WRONG.

True or false: doing something twice makes it a tradition?

Let's go with true, just so I can say that I am completing my traditional year in review post1.

In 2012, what was the...

 …most beautiful post (on your blog)?

There are two ways to interpret this question:
1. the post that made me feel sincere feelings because it was raw and honest, or
2. the post saturated with the greatest number of attractive men.

If we go with the parameters set out in the former, than the posts I wrote about my now-dead dog would qualify: Love Letter and Falafel Forever. I can't even read them without getting teary-eyed.


If we use the latter as our working definition, than it's got to be True North Strong and Sexy.

 …most popular post (on your blog)?

By far the most popular post remains Tattoos are the New Mom Jeans. I wrote it in August 2011 but it gets at least one visit a day.

The second most popular post is one I wrote this year about Rosalind Rubik's Cube Arusha Arkadina Altalune Nes Gadol Hayah Sham Florence Thurman-Busson.

 …most controversial post (on your blog)?

If you are going to make a joke about the mail-order bride industry, remember that the punch line is always about the type of man who resorts to using these (often suspect and unsavoury) services. It is NEVER funny or clever or acceptable to make light of human trafficking or portray the "brides" as desperate trollops available for casual sex. I wrote about this issue in March after learning about a radio contest being run by Q104 in Halifax.

After getting my fill of half-assed, uninformed, overly-emotional "activism" on Twitter, I defended the commercial seal hunt in Canada in The Ugly Side of Cute.

 …most helpful post (on your blog)?

At the request of a reader, July marked the debut of The New Adventures of Hallux, the Toe of Doom. Using my first hand experience and employing my knowledge as a quack with no medical training, I gave advice to anyone trying to regrow a damaged toenail.

 …post whose success surprised you?

The rumour that Tommy Davis is ALLEGEDLY Suri Cruise's biological father explains the popularity of a post I ALLEGEDLY wrote in July following Katie Holmes' ALLEGED escape from Tom Cruise. ALLEGEDLY. Nonetheless, ALLEGEDLY there seems to be a great deal of speculation about the ALLEGED ALLEGATIONS and with that puff piece, I  ALLEGEDLY accidentally fell into an SEO gold mine. Oops. Or so some would ALLEGE.

Please don't sue me, Xenu.

 …post that you didn't feel got the attention it deserved?

Is there anyway to answer this that doesn't come across as a whiney plea for attention and validation? Probably not, so I'll just run with it...

My Warp Speed Wednesdays posts are the ones that take me the longest to compose and usually get the least number of comments or traffic. But I do enjoy writing them and I REALLY appreciate when my usual readers (most of whom are NOT Trekkies) comment. Thanks, everyone, for throwing me a bone!

Here's a bit of Trekkie eye candy:

Benedict Cumberbatch: Yes. You. In the back. Do you have a question that is NOT about Bilbo Baggins? NO? Well, piss off. Anyone else?
JJ Abrams: Hello! Hi. Oh, what? Wait? I thought we were waving, guys? No? It's pointing? We're going with pointing? Okay, I can point. Maybe. Erm. Or not.
Chris Pine: I think we can all agree that the answer to the age old question of "Can anyone make a corduory jacket with suede elbow patches look sexy?" is a yes. Am I right? OR AMIRITE? HA! Who wants to come back to the room with me? There's a mini bar. I'll let you touch the patches. 

What was I writing about? Oh, yes...

 …post that made you most proud?

I'm pretty pleased with myself for chatting to "Starbuck" in the elevator at the Calgary Fairmont Hotel.  The post I wrote about that encounter is very amusing. At least to me.

Happy 2013. I hope you've all recovered from my brilliant New Year's Eve party! I'm still cleaning confetti and Muppet roughage (hehehe!) out of the hot tub filters.

 • • • • • • • • • • •
  1 -- the only other time I completed this New Fangled Traditional Post was last year in January. If Elf on Shelf can be a tradition, so can this meme. DAMMIT.


  1. Twice in a row is a TOTAL and AMAZING tradition in my books! :)

    I had fun revisiting some of your old posts.

    1. Thanks. Twice is a tradition without having to worry about it being merely a bad habit.

  2. How does Chris Pine make that jacket look sexy? HOW?? That's against all laws of nature, right there. RAWR.

    You wrote some fantastic posts in 2012. Can't wait to see what you stir up this year.

    1. I'm trying to stir up fewer things. Honest. I'M TRYING. Also failing. But trying. For the sake of friendships and my blood pressure.

      But ooh. Chris Pine. He gets the blood flowing, doesn't he?

  3. I missed your party! That's because I was unconscious. Not from happiness either. Lots of fun links here - except for the toe of doom which I am NOT going to go look at.

    1. Aw. My little sicky. I'm sorry you missed out -- but there's always next year!

  4. I am so glad you are not throwing in the blogging hat. So many are hanging it up (myself included, partially, though I do appreciate you being the one reader who still stops by for my monthly posts...). I would be so sad if you stopped, I'm very selfish and you amuse me.

    1. I'm old skool. I'm still blogging and it's not even a tumblr account. I'm a dinosaur! Thanks for reading all the same! Please don't give up blogging either. PLEASE!

  5. This is a complete tradition in my book. I loved this little walk down memory lane, but not the toe, eewww an oweie!

  6. The toe is awful. It's still warped and I couldn't even bring myself to photograph it again because that would require looking at it, and I like to pretend it's fine.

  7. Highly enjoyable, from a fellow dinosaur. Tiny T-Rex arm fist bump?