Friday, January 4, 2013

Point Form Friday! Fifteen minutes worth of random thoughts.

• I need to get a new tagline for my blog. Zarf read it aloud last night -- by the way, why did no one warn me that teaching my children to be literate would mean they'd start reading my blog? -- and asked "what does 'I put the ass in smartass' mean?" Erm. "It means I'm smart. And I look like a donkey," was the only reply I could come up with.

Remind me of this the next time I brag about being good in a crisis and/or excellent at improv.

• The sexiest thing I read all week was a post called Little Legs in Nectar from Town Farm. I joked on twitter that I was using it as inspiration for my next round of Sherlock Holmes fan-fiction erotica. Yes. That's right. I was joking. I am most certainly not writing a novella about how Molly Hooper (after helping Sherlock fake his death at the end of season 2) quits her job and opens up a market garden stall where she enacts Lady Chatterly Lover-like scenarios with her beloved Sherlock. THAT would be crazy. Why would I write about Sherlock zagging Molly?

Mrs Hudson is the only woman for Sherlock.

All kidding aside: whoever wrote that post is a fantastic writer.

All kidding aside: "zag" as a verb pertaining to sexual reproduction? Is brilliant.

• I predict that Kim Cardassian Kardashian and Kanye West will give their new attention-seeking enterprise (aka a human baby) a name that:
-is a colour, OR
-starts with a -K. 
If it's the former I think it will probably a shade of purple or blue. Maybe pink, even. Looking over the Crayola crayon colour palette I'm going to nominate: Cerise, Amethyst, Lapis Lazuli, Magenta, Periwinkle, Indigo, or Plum. If they run with the -K trend, then I think they should hire Deb as a consultant.

• we started back to school on January 2nd. The boys didn't object. I think they were as bored as me. Our lessons have been very light; only math and the writing of thank you letters. I'm very big on thank you letters. I keep a mental list of people who have not sent me thank you cards for wedding gifts. Admittedly, I'm not a stickler when it comes to thank you cards for baby gifts because I firmly believe that new moms have better things to do.

• After a brilliant start in the first part of season 1, I never took to Downton Abbey. I feel like I'm disappointing my peers with this admission.

• we need to upgrade our computer memory and in anticipation I've been cleaning off the hard drive. I intended to erase a lot of things, instead I'm spending way to much time uploading ridiculous photos to Pinterest. Because you never know when -- for example -- this graphic will be germane to a heated debate that could change the course of world history:



Plus it would be wrong to keep this to myself:


 I found that last one today. I needed a graphic to use in a document for my son's speed skating club. After careful consideration I decided that even if I could digitally erase/minimize Mr Colbert's crotch bulge, it really was NOT the image the club should project.

But it's still awesome.

TIME'S UP!


9 comments:

  1. I've seen that baby seal picture before, and laughed my ass off, because it's brilliant.

    I've never seen an episode of Downton Abbey. Not one. So there you go - I'm letting down the side even more than you are.

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  2. Poor baby seals. They should be able to club all they want.

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  3. I have never seen Downton Abbey, either, and the more I hear everyone rave about it, the less I want to watch it. Because I am five, apparently.

    That Colbert picture is disturbing.

    I am intrigued by the idea the Kardashian/West baby could be named a color. Like how about Cerise, but with a K, and then when she grows up it could easily be changed to the stripper name Karesse. Yeah, I'm totally going with either a K name or an Inadvertent Stripper Name.

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  4. I love those punctuation posters, geek humor at its finest. Or is it nerd humor?

    I love Downton Abbey, but there were definitely a few spots that were less entertaining than others. I know that it's not great when you have to "power through" a show, but I did and am glad for it. The second season was worth it in the end. I tried to watch something similar that Netflix recommended, The Forsyte Saga, and I couldn't make myself. I ended up not finishing the mini-series, which is not like me at all. I usually have to finish something, even if it's terrible, just to see how it ends.

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  5. My husband saw an episode of DA on a plane, and liked it, but I haven't stirred myself to watch it. Even though I love oh Christ I can't remember her name, I'm going senile, it's all over for me. The old lady named Maggie? Who's really famous and I totally should know her name?

    If you're right on the K/K baby name I'll.... I don't know what I'll do. I'll make you a plaque. I will. Remind me.

    I'm not googling it. I will remember it on my own or I'll kill myself. Jesus.

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    1. All I can think of is "Maggie who played Professor McGonagle, you know, she's awesome". MAH BRAINS ARE MOOSH.

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  6. Oh man I just the first two seasons of Downton Abbey for Christmas....I will try it none the less because I am evolved like that. Hee. I'm going (with what I assume the odds makers are going with) and predicting a hideous "K" name. We start school tomorrow...amen.

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  7. Stop clubbing, baby seals - ha HA! HAHAHA. Man do I love punctuation humor - eats, shoots, and leaves never gets old for me. Evidently, I need to get out more.

    I have a good friend whose parents are named Joe and Janet J_____. They named all three of their children names that began with J and now all of their children have done the same with their grandkids. It's a damned good thing I became really good friends with this person before she and her sisters had kids (I can't blame her for her parents foolishness) or I might not have been able to be her friend. Shallow? Maybe, but that kind of thing makes me cringe.

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  8. Yes, Colbert, awesome.

    Also, Downton Abbey - the first episode of season 3 was a total letdown. I think I'm out.

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