Friday, January 4, 2013

Point Form Friday! Fifteen minutes worth of random thoughts.

• I need to get a new tagline for my blog. Zarf read it aloud last night -- by the way, why did no one warn me that teaching my children to be literate would mean they'd start reading my blog? -- and asked "what does 'I put the ass in smartass' mean?" Erm. "It means I'm smart. And I look like a donkey," was the only reply I could come up with.

Remind me of this the next time I brag about being good in a crisis and/or excellent at improv.

• The sexiest thing I read all week was a post called Little Legs in Nectar from Town Farm. I joked on twitter that I was using it as inspiration for my next round of Sherlock Holmes fan-fiction erotica. Yes. That's right. I was joking. I am most certainly not writing a novella about how Molly Hooper (after helping Sherlock fake his death at the end of season 2) quits her job and opens up a market garden stall where she enacts Lady Chatterly Lover-like scenarios with her beloved Sherlock. THAT would be crazy. Why would I write about Sherlock zagging Molly?

Mrs Hudson is the only woman for Sherlock.

All kidding aside: whoever wrote that post is a fantastic writer.

All kidding aside: "zag" as a verb pertaining to sexual reproduction? Is brilliant.

• I predict that Kim Cardassian Kardashian and Kanye West will give their new attention-seeking enterprise (aka a human baby) a name that:
-is a colour, OR
-starts with a -K. 
If it's the former I think it will probably a shade of purple or blue. Maybe pink, even. Looking over the Crayola crayon colour palette I'm going to nominate: Cerise, Amethyst, Lapis Lazuli, Magenta, Periwinkle, Indigo, or Plum. If they run with the -K trend, then I think they should hire Deb as a consultant.

• we started back to school on January 2nd. The boys didn't object. I think they were as bored as me. Our lessons have been very light; only math and the writing of thank you letters. I'm very big on thank you letters. I keep a mental list of people who have not sent me thank you cards for wedding gifts. Admittedly, I'm not a stickler when it comes to thank you cards for baby gifts because I firmly believe that new moms have better things to do.

• After a brilliant start in the first part of season 1, I never took to Downton Abbey. I feel like I'm disappointing my peers with this admission.

• we need to upgrade our computer memory and in anticipation I've been cleaning off the hard drive. I intended to erase a lot of things, instead I'm spending way to much time uploading ridiculous photos to Pinterest. Because you never know when -- for example -- this graphic will be germane to a heated debate that could change the course of world history:

Plus it would be wrong to keep this to myself:

 I found that last one today. I needed a graphic to use in a document for my son's speed skating club. After careful consideration I decided that even if I could digitally erase/minimize Mr Colbert's crotch bulge, it really was NOT the image the club should project.

But it's still awesome.



  1. I've seen that baby seal picture before, and laughed my ass off, because it's brilliant.

    I've never seen an episode of Downton Abbey. Not one. So there you go - I'm letting down the side even more than you are.

  2. Poor baby seals. They should be able to club all they want.

  3. I have never seen Downton Abbey, either, and the more I hear everyone rave about it, the less I want to watch it. Because I am five, apparently.

    That Colbert picture is disturbing.

    I am intrigued by the idea the Kardashian/West baby could be named a color. Like how about Cerise, but with a K, and then when she grows up it could easily be changed to the stripper name Karesse. Yeah, I'm totally going with either a K name or an Inadvertent Stripper Name.

  4. I love those punctuation posters, geek humor at its finest. Or is it nerd humor?

    I love Downton Abbey, but there were definitely a few spots that were less entertaining than others. I know that it's not great when you have to "power through" a show, but I did and am glad for it. The second season was worth it in the end. I tried to watch something similar that Netflix recommended, The Forsyte Saga, and I couldn't make myself. I ended up not finishing the mini-series, which is not like me at all. I usually have to finish something, even if it's terrible, just to see how it ends.

  5. My husband saw an episode of DA on a plane, and liked it, but I haven't stirred myself to watch it. Even though I love oh Christ I can't remember her name, I'm going senile, it's all over for me. The old lady named Maggie? Who's really famous and I totally should know her name?

    If you're right on the K/K baby name I'll.... I don't know what I'll do. I'll make you a plaque. I will. Remind me.

    I'm not googling it. I will remember it on my own or I'll kill myself. Jesus.

    1. All I can think of is "Maggie who played Professor McGonagle, you know, she's awesome". MAH BRAINS ARE MOOSH.

  6. Oh man I just the first two seasons of Downton Abbey for Christmas....I will try it none the less because I am evolved like that. Hee. I'm going (with what I assume the odds makers are going with) and predicting a hideous "K" name. We start school tomorrow...amen.

  7. Stop clubbing, baby seals - ha HA! HAHAHA. Man do I love punctuation humor - eats, shoots, and leaves never gets old for me. Evidently, I need to get out more.

    I have a good friend whose parents are named Joe and Janet J_____. They named all three of their children names that began with J and now all of their children have done the same with their grandkids. It's a damned good thing I became really good friends with this person before she and her sisters had kids (I can't blame her for her parents foolishness) or I might not have been able to be her friend. Shallow? Maybe, but that kind of thing makes me cringe.

  8. Yes, Colbert, awesome.

    Also, Downton Abbey - the first episode of season 3 was a total letdown. I think I'm out.