Saturday, March 2, 2013

This one is about my nose.

For the second day of my month long blogging challenge
I chose the topic "My Nose."

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In high school I was convinced that my proboscis was problematic. It was the singular reason that I did not have a boyfriend. Yes, the fault lay with my nose, said my teenage brain. It -- not my personality, my flagrant self-absorption, my commitment to training for track and field, my time-sucking involvement in student government, my big mouth that I shot off frequently, my collection of funky hats, my big brain that I was always happy to use to put any boy in his place, my love of the Indigo Girls, my packed social life that revolved around a group of girls who were just as emotionally immature as myself, my propensity to wear a Star Trek uniform, or my out of control hormonal-driven mood swings -- was why I didn't have a boyfriend in the manner of teen girls on Beverly Hills 90210 or the Sweet Valley High books.

One day during a lull in my grade 12 religion class a girl named Melanie, herself in possession of a fine patrician nose, was giving frank appraisals of everyone's noses. She was most of the way through the students when she turned on me and said, "Your nose is okay. It suits your face." and carried on to the next girl. 

And just like that, I stopped hating my nose. It was okay. It suited my face. Some random girl gave it a passing grade and that was all I needed to get move on. 

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Other random thoughts about noses since my allotted time is not yet up:

• What would eyeglasses look like if we didn't have noses?

• I'm a big fan of nasal rinses.

• One of the the criteria we had when selecting both of our dogs: a black nose. Fogo's nose looks like a black jujube.  Don't you want to bite it?


(I wouldn't recommend that, by the way. 
She's a pretty mellow dog, but even she's got her limits. Or so I  assume.)

• I get a lot of blog traffic from people looking for photos of Natalie Portman's nose (they wind up at this post). Or rather noses. She's had at least two tweaks done to her nose.

• Zarf and Klaxon are still having frequent nose bleeds.

• Here's a cute nose-related picture:



• It's impossible for me to not breath out of my nose. Even when I'm underwater and I know it's dangerous. I need to use nose plugs.

TIME'S UP!

18 comments:

  1. Of all my many neuroses about my appearance, I've never had any about my nose. I secretly think I have a really nice nose and want someone to agree with me.

    That last picture is adorable.

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    1. I have seen photos of you. Your nose is lovely.

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  2. OMG THAT BABY IS CUTE.

    I have a ski-jump nose. My MIL has commented on it a lot. I feel the same way that you do. It's okay. It suits my face. I'm never going to be a nose model, if there ever were such a thing, but my nose is FINE.

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    1. Ski jump? Seriously? She said that? I think you have a lovely nose!

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    2. Oh HEY! I have a ski-jump nose, too! My grampa commented on it when I was only a couple months old. But it also suits my face.

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  3. I've noticed lately my nose seems large in relation to my face in photos in a way that it didn't in the past. I know that it and your ears never stop growing, is that correct? So at some point is mine just going to be GINORMOUS!?

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    1. Evidently noses can grow during pregnancy. The same hormones that cause the hips to spread affect all cartilage in the body. My nose didn't change w/ my babies, but my feet grew a whole size bigger.

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  4. It's funny how a passing random comment can have such a life-long impact, good or bad. Once a guy at a club complementing my dancing, and I have been a Dancing Queen ever since. I ROCK the dance floor. On the other hand, once a met a guy, friend of friends, and the first thing he said to me was, "Wow, you have big eye teeth." My eye teeth will forever be the bane of my existence. SIGH.

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    1. "big eye teeth" -- how random is that? Maybe he was afraid you were a vampire?



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    2. By the way, Lynn, if you are a vampire, I apologize for making that slur. I like vampires. Some of my closests friends are vampires. Okay, just one. And only this one time for Halloween. But still. Sorry for being a bigot.

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  5. I think this is the best nose article I have ever read. It's got sweet humor and a touching story arc. It's wonderful. 20 minutes well spent.

    People would surely wear monocles if they didn't have noses. In fact, I'm thinking of getting a monocle even though I have a nose. That or contacts.

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    1. A monocle! So very distinguished of you.

      And thanks for the compliment. It was hard to write with sincerity since I tend to favour glibness. Which explains why I included that meme at the end.

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  6. So much insight into your mind and your nose!! Well I have to admit I have never tried a nasal spray but after this post, I feel the need to now give one a whirl.... off to People's Drug mart I go!

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    1. They're are both disgusting and fascinating. The nasal rinse that is. Not People's Druga Mart.

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  7. Do you use a neti pot? I used to, but then some people freaked me out about unboiled water and brain parasites and stuff, and my CPAP is supposed to be helping with the whole sinus issue but it's been pretty bad this week. I used what-the-hell-is-that-stuff-called, the stuff you buy with the slender spout, wait, I feel like we've had this conversation before, never mind.

    Once I was on the school bus, and the girl sitting in front of me who was from the French Catholic high school turned around, looked at me and said "do you ever have a cute little nose". I haven't been convinced that my nose was cute ever since though - maybe she didn't really sell it.

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    1. I use a NeilMed bottle system. I don't boil the water, because I am a wild and crazy woman. BRING IT ON PARASITES!

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  8. I always hated my nose when I was younger. I'm okay with it now...I feel I've grown into it or something. But I must admit I was happy my girl didn't get my nose.

    And isn't it funny how a random comment from some person not really important to our lives can completely change our view of ourselves?

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    1. Doesn't it make you wonder if an off hand remark you made to someone made a huge difference in their lives?! Now I feel very powerful.

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