This week's topic comes courtesy of Beck (aka Beck Shorter, aka A Soup Making/Eating Genius, aka the creative force behind the This is my New Blog blog) who was once told that "You're so sexy. Like the Borg Queen."
For those unfamiliar with this character here are two visuals.
The Borg Queen is portrayed by Alice Krige in
Star Trek: First Contact and in "Endgame," the series finale of Voyager.
In four other episodes of Voyager, Susanna Thompson appears in the role.
It's safe to say most women would be nonplussed to receive such a "compliment." Even a trekkie like myself would be taken aback to be compared to this cruel, despotic cyborg with the pallour of a corpse, and a robotic tarantula emerging from the crown of her head. I assume Beck -- like the Borg Queen -- has fantastic cheekbones and a great rack. Or her would-be-suitor was socially awkward and into S and M.
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Rule #1: When it comes to dating, your shining example of what-to-do is Picard. Not Riker. Not Kirk. Not Data. Not Troi. Not Quark. And for damn sure, not Worf.
Rule #2: Leave the uniform at home. This doesn't mean you should go naked -- save that for a Betazed wedding. It means that you should dress like someone from this century. Take a friend (or your mom) on an away mission to a planet called The Gap.
Rule #3: Ease up on the Romulan ale. No one likes a sloppy drunk who keeps saying, "I dunno what you are serving me, Guinan, but I don't think this is synthehol? GIMME ANOTHER!"
Rule #4: Don't use these pick up lines:
You make my "Earl Grey" feel hot.
Nice horga'hn, babe.
Are you seeking jamaharon?
FYI -- I am fully functional. In every way.
I am programed in multiple techniques. A broad variety of pleasuring.
If I ask you nice, will you touch my lobes?
Do you have a stable worm hole? Because my runabout is prepared to enter its event horizon.
Are you interested in initiating First Contact? Because my boarding party is ready to go.
The time for reunification is NOW.
Your nacelles make me want to eject my warp core.
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This does raise the question: who is the sexiest female or male Star Trek character? I'm leaning toward Jadzia Dax. Anyone have other contenders?
EDITED on March 2, 2013: And Picard. Obviously. He is incredibly sexy. I can't belive my oversight!