Monday, March 17, 2014

Flogging A Dead Horse.

On the weekend, while in the Big City, we took the boys to see the Lego Movie. My favourite part was the Kre-O ad that played during the previews. My second favourite part was when my 12 year old nudged me and said, "Wake up. You fell asleep." To which I replied, "Yes. I did. On purpose, because this movie is terrible." It was the stupidest excuse for a movie I have ever seen. I can't even formulate a list of complaints about WHY it was terrible because the terribleness was so pervasive.

"I love you, but you have crap taste in movies," I told my sons as the credits rolled. Neither was put out by this, however the three twenty-something hipsters in the row ahead of us gave me a dirty look. I would be chagrined about this except that they were obviously losers and/or perverts.

We also stopped by the independent bookstore in the Big City. In doing so, I felt I was betraying those bastions of socialism, public libraries. Confession: I love reading, but I don't often buy books. This is because I don't place a high premium on owning books -- an offshoot of hating clutter and being raised by a librarian. I was making an exception this time because the kids have government money leftover for curriculum and because I'm presently obsessed with The Musketeers on BBC (but if you are following my tumblr blog, you probably know this already) and wanted my own copy of the Dumas book.

Another reason I seldom frequent bookstores is because they are not arranged properly. Books are shelved and displayed by theme or subject. There is no reliance upon the Dewey Decimal system. Alphabetization is not strictly respected. The shelves aren't even lined up in nice neat rows. It's a mess.

After a few fruitless minutes trying to find the book, I gave up and asked a teenage clerk to check the store's inventory computer for a copy of The Three Musketeers. She typed in "Three Muskateers" and chirpily informed me there were no copies in stock.

"I think there are three -Es in Musketeers." I said, because I thought it was a more clever/passive-aggressive alternative to "Hey dumb-dumb, you spelled that wrong."

[In hindsight, is it possible she thought I wanted her to search for The Three Muskateeers?]

"Nope. That's how it's spelled. And we don't have any copies in stock. I could bring one in though."

I declined the offer because I felt like it was wrong to financially support idiocy and arrogance. Well, other than my own idiocy and arrogance. That's different.