Test your Nan-related knowledge with this quick quiz:

How many children has Nan squeezed out of her uterus?
a. none, her children were delivered by stork while she enjoyed a drug-induced stupor.
b. one.
c. two.

How many husbands does Nan have?
a. none, her children were conceived while she enjoyed a drug-induced stupor.
b. four, her brother-husbands include Chris Pine, Benedict Cumberbatch, and Matthew MacFadyen in his role of Mr Darcy from Pride & Prejudice.
c. one (aka Mr Wrath), and he's a keeper.

What blog aliases does Nan use for her offspring?
a. Heaven and Nevaeh. Isn't that clever? Nevaeh is heaven spelled backward!!!!11!!!!
b. Oprah and Steadman.
c. Zarf and Klaxon

What is Nan's nationality, ethnic background and religious upbringing?
a. Kenyan, Luo, and Muslim.
b. Kenyan, Luo, and Muslim but pretending to be an American-born, bi-racial Christian.
c. Canadian, Irish, and (lapsed) Catholic.

Nan's spirituality can best be summed up as:
a. "The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together."
b. "We must try not to sink beneath our anguish, Harry, but battle on."
c. One person's prophet is another person's wormhole alien.

Nan's favourite television franchise is:
a. the various CSI series. She loves it when David Caruso crouches down, whips off his sunglasses and stares off into the middle distance.
b. Dancing With The Has-Been Idols of Survivor. Nan loves reality tv shows because they're like game shows, but even more annoying.
c. Star Trek.

Nan lives:
a. in a hell of her own creation.
b. Mos Eisley, "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."
c. a small Canadian town in British Columbia, 200 kilometers north of the middle of nowhere.

Nan's children are educated:
a. at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
b. in theory, any way.
c. at home, cos that's what Jesus wants.

Where does Nan stand on the political spectrum?
a. left.
b. left.
c. left.

Nan's fashion sense can best be described as:
a. bohemian meets mid-century modern.
b. eclectic.
c. absent.

What does Nan have in common with Gwyneth Paltrow?
a. Nan -- like Gwyneth -- is a graduate of the Madonna School of Fake British Accents.
b. Nan -- like Gwyneth -- suffers from brittle bones because she prefers being skinny to being healthy.
c. They are both bipedal.

Which of the following photos is very popular with internet users in Germany?
a. Dr Phil wearing a leather jacket.
b. Kate and Will's engagement photo.

c. Chakotay making his Sexy Beast Face.

(Here's a hint: it's not option a. That one is most commonly sought by people from Australia. )

What punctuation marks does Nan most often abuse?
a. semi-colons.
b. exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
c. hyphens -- or if you prefer -- dashes.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
The correct answers are C.